The Real Reason For The Pain For Your Twin Flame…

The Real Reason For The Pain For Your Twin Flame…


I know that this may be a difficult concept to consider, for many of you. But, hear me out. There’s no harm in it…

I thought that my pain was caused by the separation from my Twin. I was wrong…

My pain started before that. Before I knew what he was to me. Before I consciously established the connection. Before the Twin Flame run even began. I called it dark night of the soul. It came over me and I was cloaked in it. In the confusion, in the overwhelming hopelessness and pain. No apparent rhyme or reason. No way out. It was pain that was there. It simply existed. There was nothing that I could do except bask in it. Accept it. There it was. I let the tears flow. I don’t know any other way… The Twin Flame run occurred after that and the pain continued, but let’s not get this mixed up. Let’s understand what pain really originates from.

I understand sadness. I understand what it feels like to be drowning in dark, merciless waters of pain. So much heartache. Not knowing how to make it stop. Utter despair and praying for the end to come. The end of me. The end of the pain. Either which way, when you’re in that place, it doesn’t seem to matter how relief befalls you. You just want it to come. You just want to see the light of day again. To feel like you have some good reason to live for. Or to die and to cry no more…

I reached this point of awareness in the midst of my pain, on a few occasions… A point where I looked at the pain. I studied it. I observed it. I tried to see where it was really coming from. I went into it. I felt the pain outside of the circumstances. I separated the reason from the pain. The pain didn’t disappear, it was still there, but I realized something…. That the pain wasn’t attached to anything. It was just there. It wasn’t there because of my situation. It wasn’t there because of my Twin, or because of the separation. It wasn’t there for any reason besides that it just existed. It was something that was already there. Something that needed to be looked at and dealt with. Something that was crying out for attention. Crying out for action, movement, energy, acknowledgement and change.

We attach reasons to our pain. We try to rationalize it, to make it logical. We blame this person, or that thing. We justify that our reactions of pain are perfectly valid, given the circumstances, but that is a lie. You see, you could have 10 different people all experience the same thing and they could all have completely different reactions. The circumstances don’t cause the reaction, you do. You are the one who reacts to your circumstances. Your reaction is your reaction, it’s something that is already there. Something that already exists within you, and whatever is already inside of you will come out when it gets a chance.

Circumstances are just the excuse for the existing shadows to come to the surface to be seen, transcended and transformed.

This why we test people. To see what’s inside of them, to see what they’re made of.


What are you made of?

At the core of your pain, there isn’t anything to blame. There is no circumstance that is causing it. That is just an illusion. We think that if circumstances would change that we would feel better. The truth is that when we overcome the pain that already lives inside of us, we then allow for change. Pain comes up to show you that it’s there, not because of some outside circumstance. There is no outside circumstance that could cause you pain if the pain wasn’t already there.

I know it is difficult to see this. I know that there is pain involved with separation and that the way that we experience it  points to the idea that the circumstance is to blame for the onset of pain. But, the circumstance is just a trigger for something that is already there. If it were the circumstance which caused the pain, then it would be impossible to overcome the pain unless you could change the circumstance. The reality is that it is possible to overcome the pain, even if the outside circumstance stays the same. This means that it isn’t the circumstance which causes the pain. The reason it is important to note is because this understanding is the jumping off point to empowerment. You should know that you are not at the mercy of your pain, even if you cannot change the circumstances.

So, stop blaming your Twin, or the separation for your pain. Stop thinking that you can’t escape it. Stop thinking that you are being inflicted with a painful experience. It’s just an experience. Your reaction is your creation.


Be aware of your pain. Look at it. Study it. Go into it. You will see, it’s only pain and it can go away just as swiftly as it came. It isn’t attached to anything. It isn’t attached to you. You are not married to pain. It isn’t following you around. It isn’t your ball and chain. It’s only pain. It’s only there to show you something. Become ultra conscious of it and you will allow it to show you what you need to see. Circumstances, people and events aside.

We are all in this together, I am here for you.




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9 thoughts on “The Real Reason For The Pain For Your Twin Flame…

  1. Perhaps the Twin Flame model is faulty to begin with. Sounds like something ancient Celts sitting around campfires came up with. Why not go modern, we know everything is composed of atoms. Why be limited to a “twin flame” situation based on the hydrogen model–one proton, one orbiting electron. My “twin flame” dumped me, Source has sent me other wonderful electrons to join the dance. One proton, six electrons, that is a different element now than hydrogen. One electron only? Pain. Six electrons? Gain.

  2. I’m not sure what to think about the whole TF concept…who knows? It could be…I can attach meaning and conclude that its a fit to my experience as with anything. Really, outside of whether or not TF exists….what you wrote is absolutely profound 😉 loved it!

  3. I don’t always understand because when we miss people it does not feel good, like when someone dear to us dies. Maybe I don’t have the same pain I did in the beginning when we separated. I know I don’t. That was a pain that almost killed me. Now I have worked through that pain to see truth but I STILL miss him, and missing him does not always feel good. It feels like I misplaced something very valuable and I won’t be settled or content until I have it back. Can I function? Yes. Can I laugh and dance with my son? Yes. Am I blissful? No. Is an army wife blissful when her husband is gone for a year, especially if he is totally out of contact? Probably not. Will she ache for the moment he steps off that plane and back into her arms? Yes!! I am not blissful. I am not blissful knowing this amazing “gift” is not with me. I have a hard time with some of this twin flame stuff because the way I see it is I love my twin like I love my child, and man I adore my kid. And if my kid went missing I’d freak the fuck out. Life would never be the same. I’d always know my child was meant to be back in my arms, and I’d never ever rest until he was back with me. I’d miss him so much that I want to tell the universe I am only using this as an example because my child is always meant to be with me. I’d miss him every waking moment, even in my dreams, and it would not feel good. I’d not be myself until he was back with me. What would THAT pain be showing me? What inside of me would be coming up from the circumstance of losing my child? To learn to be stronger? Why is it any different with a twin soul going missing? I understand there are lessons to be learned, absolutely. But why is it different, and if we feel angst and missing from not having them with us- is there a difference between “missing” them and feeling the pain you speak of here? Does there come a point in the twin soul separation where we’ve felt tortured and left behind, wailed in misery and despair only to finally realize they did not leave on purpose to hurt us, or not because they don’t love us, but to teach us- and with that knowledge comes some relief, some respite from the pain? But still, after the pain has subsided is there still room there for missing them? For wanting them back? For loving them so much that the idea of not having them enwrapped with you every night will always leave an empty space inside, even if the initial major pain has been resolved? Somehow I just can’t get past feeling like when someone you love is separated from you there is some room for a natural human grief, and it can sometimes last until that person comes back, and if they don’t then maybe it will be there forever. They say time heals all wounds but it probably takes a long time in some cases.

    1. This is all a viewpoint. You say that your child belongs in your arms. That your Twin Flame belongs in your arms. For as long as you define it that way, you will always feel that you have misplaced something. Are you owning them? Aren’t they just another extension of divinity, the same way that you are? This concept is really far out. The idea of detachment is really far out. But as long as you feel like you oblong with your twin, you will feel the pain of them being missing. Children are taken from their parents sometimes. Maybe to show us that we don’t own anything. Maybe to show us detachment. That we really can be joyful and whole without anything. At the end of the day, all of us are just role playing. Really, we are all the same extant ions oaf the divine. Don’t romanticize your TF relationship. Maybe nobody belongs to nobody. Maybe we are all just here, playing a game called life. Be careful about your definitions, perspectives, meanings and beliefs. That’s what shapes your experience. Not the experience itself, but the way you choose to see it.

  4. I think it is also important to say that we are not to blame. We align with what we need to align with to heal. The pain is a sign that something inside us needs to be reprogrammed because there is some false programming that is usually related to how we view love.

  5. My twin flame is a druggie, im doing all the healing work and trying to live healthily while she is constantly trying to od and intoxicate herself. If she could actually od would be great news for me. Itll make my job easier as well. Fyi, i had deep feelings for her for a long time already, now i have decided to give up, regardless of how things should be done, dont wanna help her anymore, burdened enuff of her sh*t already.

  6. I have come to this conclusion recently. Pain is necessary. Fighting and avoiding it only makes it worse and prolongs it. Accept it. Feel it. Feel the gradations of it. Personally, it helps me to appreciate happy moments. Teaches me to be present in the good times instead of experiencing it too superficially. After experiencing deep emotional pain from different kinds of losses life is more beautiful because of the depth of the emotions and feelings we are capable of.

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