I know that this may be a difficult concept to consider, for many of you. But, hear me out. There’s no harm in it…
I thought that my pain was caused by the separation from my Twin. I was wrong…
My pain started before that. Before I knew what he was to me. Before I consciously established the connection. Before the Twin Flame run even began. I called it dark night of the soul. It came over me and I was cloaked in it. In the confusion, in the overwhelming hopelessness and pain. No apparent rhyme or reason. No way out. It was pain that was there. It simply existed. There was nothing that I could do except bask in it. Accept it. There it was. I let the tears flow. I don’t know any other way… The Twin Flame run occurred after that and the pain continued, but let’s not get this mixed up. Let’s understand what pain really originates from.
I understand sadness. I understand what it feels like to be drowning in dark, merciless waters of pain. So much heartache. Not knowing how to make it stop. Utter despair and praying for the end to come. The end of me. The end of the pain. Either which way, when you’re in that place, it doesn’t seem to matter how relief befalls you. You just want it to come. You just want to see the light of day again. To feel like you have some good reason to live for. Or to die and to cry no more…
I reached this point of awareness in the midst of my pain, on a few occasions… A point where I looked at the pain. I studied it. I observed it. I tried to see where it was really coming from. I went into it. I felt the pain outside of the circumstances. I separated the reason from the pain. The pain didn’t disappear, it was still there, but I realized something…. That the pain wasn’t attached to anything. It was just there. It wasn’t there because of my situation. It wasn’t there because of my Twin, or because of the separation. It wasn’t there for any reason besides that it just existed. It was something that was already there. Something that needed to be looked at and dealt with. Something that was crying out for attention. Crying out for action, movement, energy, acknowledgement and change.
We attach reasons to our pain. We try to rationalize it, to make it logical. We blame this person, or that thing. We justify that our reactions of pain are perfectly valid, given the circumstances, but that is a lie. You see, you could have 10 different people all experience the same thing and they could all have completely different reactions. The circumstances don’t cause the reaction, you do. You are the one who reacts to your circumstances. Your reaction is your reaction, it’s something that is already there. Something that already exists within you, and whatever is already inside of you will come out when it gets a chance.
Circumstances are just the excuse for the existing shadows to come to the surface to be seen, transcended and transformed.
This why we test people. To see what’s inside of them, to see what they’re made of.
What are you made of?
At the core of your pain, there isn’t anything to blame. There is no circumstance that is causing it. That is just an illusion. We think that if circumstances would change that we would feel better. The truth is that when we overcome the pain that already lives inside of us, we then allow for change. Pain comes up to show you that it’s there, not because of some outside circumstance. There is no outside circumstance that could cause you pain if the pain wasn’t already there.
I know it is difficult to see this. I know that there is pain involved with separation and that the way that we experience it points to the idea that the circumstance is to blame for the onset of pain. But, the circumstance is just a trigger for something that is already there. If it were the circumstance which caused the pain, then it would be impossible to overcome the pain unless you could change the circumstance. The reality is that it is possible to overcome the pain, even if the outside circumstance stays the same. This means that it isn’t the circumstance which causes the pain. The reason it is important to note is because this understanding is the jumping off point to empowerment. You should know that you are not at the mercy of your pain, even if you cannot change the circumstances.
So, stop blaming your Twin, or the separation for your pain. Stop thinking that you can’t escape it. Stop thinking that you are being inflicted with a painful experience. It’s just an experience. Your reaction is your creation.
Be aware of your pain. Look at it. Study it. Go into it. You will see, it’s only pain and it can go away just as swiftly as it came. It isn’t attached to anything. It isn’t attached to you. You are not married to pain. It isn’t following you around. It isn’t your ball and chain. It’s only pain. It’s only there to show you something. Become ultra conscious of it and you will allow it to show you what you need to see. Circumstances, people and events aside.
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We are all in this together, I am here for you.